(Appeared Nov. 2002 in "The Frequency," the magazine of CSCR Cable FM 90.3, published at University of Toronto's Scarborough Campus.)

DISCLAIMER:  You are about to enter the strange world of Garth Jensen!  If you don't know me, or have not read my previous columns, I'm the openly gay, actor-singer-songwriter-scandalmaker on campus!  Read on if you are brave and adventurous.

In the past month I've been getting flak for not being as controversial as I have been in the past.  (Thanx, Kape and Alex! Ha Ha!)  But I shall resolve this with my latest epiphany:  I honestly think that I scare men.  It's not just the insecure straight guys that I seem to frighten, but the gay ones too.  What is it about me that creates this environment?  Is it my raging ambition and Diva-like goals?  Is it my aggressive approach to making new friendships?  Is it my stunning beauty?  The answer is "NO!" to all of the above.

The problem is that, I'm stuck in a perpetual "chase" mode that makes me a prowling lion in search of fresh beef.  (Or fresh inspiration, whichever comes first.)  But I've come to the conclusion that it's the chase *itself* that I love, much more than actual attainable goals.  In this past month, I've had a taste of the attainable, or at least the would-be attainable.  Right now, I should slapped on the wrist for: sleeping with a good friend, hitting on another good friend, and e-mailing a gay dude who is ultra-closeted, hoping for friendship.  I'll call them Man #1, Man #2, and Man #3 for the sake of this article.

Man #1 wanted me to help him "explore" his sexuality.  Ever the helpful friend, I said "I'm always up for that."  Then after the deed was done, I realized: I don't want a relationship!  I started to panic, wondering if I'd wreck his life by showing him that years of experience have turned me into a selfish sex pig.  I'm lookin' out for #1, and I don't mean Man #1 when I say that.  The good news is Man #1 has not been scared off...yet...

Man #2 is, uh, how shall I say it...attached.  Yet my hormones raged, I got flirtatious, and it doesn't help when that darn Christina Aguilera is encouraging everybody to get freaky.  So damn her and her "raa-raa-rowdy" Dirrty Diva vocals.  (By the way, her album "Stripped" is excellent!)  Oh yeah, I consider Man #2 very attractive, yet I didn't think he was ready for me to admit that to him.  Luckily, Man #2 was not scared off...but he's still "taken."

Man #3 is this hot dude that is, unfortunately, *very* closeted.  Therefore, I shall make my description vague and unrecognizable.  I sent him what I thought was a fantastic e-mail saying that I wasn't trying to hit on him, but that I'd like to be friends and maybe get him to help with some upcoming live performances of my music!  Well, my e-mail got no reply, and I almost tripped over Man #3 in the hall a little while ago, but pretended not to see him, hoping to avoid awkwardness.  Then I left good sense in the dust, tried waving to him a few days later, and he gave a blank look as if I was from outer space.  So, as far as I know, Man #3 has been scared off...

This brings me back to the fact that, last year, life was much simpler when I ran around chasing a straight accounting student!  At least with him, I *knew* he was straight, I *knew* he was unattainable, yet trying to meet him became a metaphor for breaking down barriers, and living life to the fullest.  (This turned into my play "Searching For Adonis," which will actually be at the Leigha Lee Browne Theatre at 7:30pm on Friday November 15th.  It will be a "staged reading" rather than a full production.)  In the end, the "Adonis," as I called him, was not offended by my interest, wasn't offended that I wrote a play about chasing him, and it was a great experience.  *He* wasn't afraid to wave to me in the halls!  I was really lucky, and owe my "Adonis" a huge debt of gratitude!

But now, my recent man troubles seem to be bogged down with real problems.  Real gay men, real issues, real hearts to be broken.  It makes my original "chases" seem nostalgic and exciting by comparison.  I feel like I'm in a less giddy, less fun sequel to the original "Searching For Adonis."  You might call it, "Stumbling Towards Adonis 2: Watch Where You're Going!"  So far, my transition into the "real" world hasn't been too pretty.

Speaking of pretty, I'm hoping to look and sound stunning at a couple of upcoming shows.  I'm hoping to squeeze my way into both Funk-Da-Fide Fashion Show, and the Cultural Mosaic, with performances of my infamous "King of the Clubs" song.  I also want to get "Searching For Adonis" into the U of T Hart House competition!  Will I make any of these goals happen?  Stay tuned!