(Written Feb. 2003 for an upcoming issue of "The Frequency," the magazine of CSCR Cable FM 90.3, published at University of Toronto's Scarborough Campus.)

DISCLAIMER:  You are about to enter the strange world of Garth Jensen, the openly gay singer-songwriter-actor-and-divaterrific-scandalmaker on campus!  Read on if you have an open mind.

I have a beef!  I was recently floored when a friend mentioned that he doesn't think I'm rebellious.  Well, it's time for the "nice guy" mask to slip off, as I claim my "rebel" status and get some things off of my chest.
 
Last year, I chased around a straight accounting student, and wrote a play about the experience called "Searching For Adonis."  I gave a copy of it to the "Adonis," despite warnings from friends.  This, to me, seemed pretty rebellious, and the whole point of my play was to break down the wall that divides gay and straight people.  The "Adonis" was intelligent, open minded, and wasn't offended by my creative insanity.  Back then, though, people were telling me "Oh my God, you're gonna scare the hell out of him."  Now, those same people turn around and say, "Ah, you were so innocent with the way you gave him your play, there was no way you'd scare him!"  Hmmm....

Another irony is that the people I asked to *play* the Adonis were more offended than my level headed, real-life muse.  There was one talented guy who could sing, act, and charm large crowds.  So I gave him a script, and asked him if he'd be interested in being in my play.  I was nervous giving the script to this guy, since, it's not easy to go up to someone you barely know and say "Please star in the title role of a play that involves gay issues!"  He didn't seem to like the idea, so after a few awkward meetings, I apologized for making him uncomfortable with my script.

I recently saw this actor in a play, and to my surprise, he appeared in full drag and, later in the show, showed up in a lacy ballerina costume.  My jaw dropped, since it was a "problem" for this guy to star as the straight Adonis in a play about gay issues, but it was fine for him to dress up in women's clothes and camp it up.  I was baffled by this hypocrisy, and one friend suggested, "Maybe he thought you liked him. You really have to be careful about the way you come across."  This made me wonder why, in particular, gay people should apologize for the way straight people misunderstand them.  I mean, even if I had "liked" the actor, it's not like I stuck my hand down his pants and said "Hey, handsome, wanna show me your talent?"  Unfortunately, even the potential of a gay attraction is too much of a "threat" for a lot of straight men to handle.  This brings me to my next problem.

I was recently on a "clubbing" web site that I regularly visit, and there was a posting about how misconceptions effect people.  One guy complained that, since he wore tight clothes, "Sometimes people think im gay, wuz up with that?  no im not a fag!!  I luv my women!!"  All creative spellings aside, this guy's message was dripping with insecurity.  If someone assumes I'm straight, should I go, "Wazzup with that?  No, I'm not a breeder.  I luv my men and my Whitney Houston dance mixes!!"

So I keep coming back to "Searching For Adonis," and the fact that I still owe a lot to people like the real life "Adonis" who taught me that not all straight men who wear tight clothes are insecure about gay issues.  (Thank God!)  But I'm still bitter that the play itself, along with several other original works from UTSC, were rejected from this year's Hart House festival.  I previously wrote a "polite" paragraph about this, but baby, I'm gonna bring it on now!  Loyal readers, you tell me if this sounds right:  A first year Philosophy student who is *not* a part of the Drama Society submits a play.  This script is chosen over at least three plays by SENIOR Drama students who have worked hard for many years, and are graduating soon.  Rumour has it that only two of the four scripts from UTSC were sent down to be chosen by Hart House because it was $75 per proposal, and cost cutting was in full effect.  Do the rejected playwrights get to come back and apply for Hart House next year?  No!  Do we get the chance to produce our plays on campus?  No!  Do politics screw innocent people all the time?  Yes!  Do men that are afraid of gay issues make exceptions to portray drag divas & ballerinas?  Oddly enough, Yes!

It's not that "Normality" was a bad play, in fact, all reports indicate that the Hart House performance went really well.  (I only saw a dress rehearsal.)  But I get upset with the fact that it was given priority over people who may have deserved it more - people who are running out of opportunities like this.  If that makes me a sore loser, than so be it, but I'm still concerned about how and why these decisions were made.

So my lesson, kids, is to shout from the rooftops about what you feel.  More than ever, people still try to hold back what they really want to say, and "punish" people who are blunt.  For some people, I'd say, go get some self-esteem and stop blaming the gays for your own issues.  And if you ever see a crazy looking guy running up to you, script in hand, offering you a part in his play, think twice before you jump to a conclusion.  Avoiding that "crazy guy" may lead you into other roles that require you to call upon your inner ballerina.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

With love, peace & Gino hair grease, Garth